You may know a friend or co-worker who
like the Grinch, fanatically hates Christmas. Who would pick eight-hour long buisness meetings over Christmas with their family any time. Maybe you are one of
those people yourself. While you do like to spend time with people,
you do not like to spend time with the ones you are going to spend
Christmas.
Perhaps you dread the remarks of your overly critical mother. Hate sharing a table
with your father-in law, who is king at subtly offending people. Fear
what will happen if Uncle Willy can’t handle his booze again. Get
silently mad at Grandma, who always excuses his terrible behavior.
If any of
this applies to you: Some of your family members are being dicks.
The
holiday season is a wonderful time for dicks. They can be total jerks and get away with it. Even crazier: the people they
are being dicks to, actually go through a lot of effort in order to be treated like shit. They sacrifice on or two days of their scarce free
time, often undertake an hour-long drive, all to put up with insults, drunk rants or inappropriate questioning, for an entire afternoon. Or even longer. Wow. Why do adult people do this?
It’s
this pesky myth that gets adult people who normally do a perfect job
at standing up for themselves to take more crap than a Mardi Gras
portable toilet unit.
Which
one? The myth that Christmas is all about family, that you should be
with your family, and that there is something very wrong if you are
not with family during Christmas.
Most
of the year, you spend your leisure time with people you actually
want to be with. But during Christmas, it’s something else
entirely. The myth gives people some sort of claim to your time,
whether you like them or not. It’s Christmas, and I am related to
you, so you better show up, because that is how it’s supposed to
be.
But
it’s not. Yes, family is important. But being someone’s family
does not give you the right to make a person feel terrible. Not
during the rest of the year and not during Christmas. So, if your
family makes you feel like shit during the holidays, avoid them. Make
up your own plan. Spend Christmas with your friends. Or with a bucket
of Ben and Jerry’s and all the episodes of Breaking Bad. Whatever
you like. But don’t let other people screw up your holidays, just because they happen to be your family.
If
only it were that easy, some of you will say. Mom has been asking for
our holiday plans since August, stressing over and over again how
important it is that we all show up. It’s the biggest thing of the
year for them. Not showing up is'nt considered an option..
Well,
all the more reason to say no! If Christmas dinner with your family
feels like an emotional minefield, your family obviously does not
offer you a warm and nurturing home. On top of that, you are coerced
into spending your holidays with people you do not want to be around with (or at least, not for that long).
And you actually reward them for that! You honor their request, so that they will be able to keep up appearances. Pretend to their neigbours and friends that they have a big, happy family. While you know the 'happy' part is a lie (Otherwise, you would not be recognizing yourself in this article).
And you actually reward them for that! You honor their request, so that they will be able to keep up appearances. Pretend to their neigbours and friends that they have a big, happy family. While you know the 'happy' part is a lie (Otherwise, you would not be recognizing yourself in this article).
Christmas is about being with loved ones. Spend time with the
people you really care about, not with the ones you are expected to
care about. Maybe that means that in the future, some people are
looking forward to a lonely Christmas. But that’s not a bad thing.
It’s actually an incentive. An incentive for them to try not being
dicks.
Merry
Christmas everybody!
(None
of this applies to my family, and in-laws. Christmas with them is
wonderful! Just wrote it out of sheer astonishment why so many people
let themselves being dicked around during the holidays.. )
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